Photo byJohn Matychuk on Unsplash
A little over a year ago, we moved to a new home. Our most direct route to the interstate now includes an intersection with a four-way stop. While there were several months at the beginning of the pandemic when we did not drive very much, I have still negotiated that intersection at least a couple of hundred times. Every single time, without exception, I have made it through that intersection without incident.
There are some basic rules of a four-way stop. The simplest is that the first vehicle to arrive at a four-way stop has the right of way. If two vehicles arrive at the exact same time, the vehicle to the right has the right of way. A vehicle going straight or turning right has the right of way over a vehicle turning left.
Despite these specific rules, there a number of scenarios that are not specifically addressed. Thus, there is a lot of deference and negotiation that takes place at a four-way stop. I find that the vast majority of folks are extremely patient, often deferring even when they may actually have the right of way. Sometimes people are frustratingly cooperative! “You go.” “No, you go.” “Please, I insist you go first!”
In preparing for this post, I came across a fascinating article entitled, “Digitizing the Social Contract for Safer Roads.”
Here is a link if you are interested in reading it:
The article is written by Eraz Dagan who is the Executive Vice President of Mobileye which is a company designing safety systems for autonomous vehicles. In the article, Dagan points out that there are gaps in our traffic rules. He further argues that those gaps are necessary – too few rules or too many rules would lead to chaos on our roads and highways. Humans bridge that gap through a basic social contract. We “agree” to some unwritten rules to behave in ways that protect each other.
You are realizing by now that preachers (or at least this preacher) cannot do something as simple as going through an intersection without overthinking it! How we behave at a four-way stop could give us some clues about how to navigate more complex interactions.
Multiple vehicles arrive at an intersection from different directions. After stopping and acknowledging the presence of the others, sometimes they all end up heading the same direction. Other times, they all end up continuing on their previous path which takes them in different directions.
What if we went out of our way to show deference to those with whom we approach a challenge from a different direction? What if, after showing that deference, we realized that even though we approached the challenge from different perspectives, we can still find a common solution? What if we realized that there are times when we just need to head in different directions?
Like all metaphors, this one eventually breaks down. But, I think it is worth pondering for at least as long as it takes to make it through a four-way stop!
“Don’t do anything for selfish purposes, but with humility think of others as better than yourselves. Instead of each person watching out for their own good, watch out for what is better for others.”
Philippians 2:3-4